Yes, it can be, but it doesn’t have to. It’s completely understandable to be scared to deliver a tiny human. Let’s be honest, if you’re planning a natural birth the thought of squeezing a watermelon out of a lemon sounds absolutely horrible. If you’re taking the c-section route, that’s major surgery! Think, Edward Scissorhands cutting you open to deliver your baby. If you’re not a fan of needles or hospitals it’s easy for your anxiety to go off the charts.

The common risks and fears for both forms of labor and delivery can make even the strongest of women weak in the knees. Knowledge is power, so if you know the likelihood each can occur hopefully you can put your mind at ease.

Common Risks:

1. Failure to progress –  This is prolonged labor or labor that lasts longer than expected. For first time moms typically after 20+ hours, and those who’ve previously given birth 14+ hours when intervention will probably be needed. As long as you’re healthy, and the baby is doing fine you can wait by taking walks or having a nice warm bath. If not, you can receive labor inducing medications or have a c-section. This issue can happen for a number of different reasons, but the good news is that it only affects about 8% of women. 

2. Malposition – Not every baby will be in the best position for birth, which is head down facing your back. Some babies might try to make things more difficult by being breech roughly 4%, facing upwards 7% or even more rare laying on their side. At time of delivery, it’s possible to deliver the latter two options. Although breech babies will more than likely require a c-section, you typically know between 37-39 weeks if your baby is breech, so it shouldn’t be a surprise and you can mentally prepare yourself ahead of time for the kind of birth you will have. 

3. Tearing – a.k.a perineal tearing. I’m going to keep it real and let you know that if you have a vaginal birth there is a 90% chance of tearing, but in most cases it is very minor and over 50% of tears range from first to second degree, but these heal very quickly. It can happen if your baby’s head is measuring too large, your birth is happening too quickly, the use of forceps or vacuum to get the baby out and last, but certainly not least an episiotomy (small incision rather than a natural tear). The latter is a last resort and mainly used if your baby’s shoulders get stuck or your baby might have an abnormal heart rate and need to be delivered quickly. I repeat tearing is minor and you will heal!

4. Pain – it’s inevitable in some form or another. If you’re planning a natural birth you will experience contractions, if you’re choosing an elective C-section, you will experience pain postpartum. However, there are so many different ways you can cope with your pain during and after birth, so explore all of your options. I know you’ve heard it a million times already, but it is all worth it in the end. 

5. Epidural – Pain medication received in your spine during labor. Yes, it is a big needle, but the important thing is you don’t actually see it going in, it’s given while you’re having a contraction, so you’re too busy to notice and finally there are ways to cope without the giant needle.

6. Making it to the hospital in time – Active labor typically lasts eight hours, so the chance of you delivering your baby in the car on the side of a highway is pretty slim. As soon as your water breaks is a great indicator to hit the road. For those of you who live further from your hospital, as soon as your contractions are consistent and are at most ten minutes apart, you can start thinking about heading out. When contractions are five minutes or less it’s almost baby time, so keep that in mind.

7. Dying – all it takes is hearing one horror story, seeing it on a TV show or movie, or one simple comment from a friend before those thoughts creep into your mind if they weren’t there already. It’s a valid fear, but fortunately in the US and thanks to modern medicine, in the states we have a low rate of this happening. I’m talking less than 1% and these are mostly related to prenatal complications or in some cases poor medical care. So, don’t dwell on this or freak yourself out, the age old saying “women have been doing this for thousands of years” can be slightly annoying at times, but it’s true.

8. Pooping during labor – Doesn’t matter if doctors and nurses see it all the time, it’s still gross to think about, but trust me when I say you will have so many other things happening down there you won’t feel it or even notice. You’ll be working through pressure, pain and just squeezing a little person out of your vagina. So what if you deliver a little extra in the process, your body is working really hard! What you can do is prepare your partner for what could happen down there and decide if you want them staying above the waist viewing or let them see it all. It’s completely your choice. 

Your fears are completely valid, perfectly normal and you are not alone! Communicate your fears with your partner and your health care provider. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t stress about this and put your mind at ease. Baby can feel a lot of the stress that you feel, so try a little meditation and manifest the birth experience you want. Think it, see it, say it and believe it. Know that you have so many choices and no matter what you choose, or what you go through, as long as you’re holding your little one in the end it will be the best day of your life.